after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just want nice things and good sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
