Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
