She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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