I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
