shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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