I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
