That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
