spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
