I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
