One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
