this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
