Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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