when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
