Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
