yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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