we're blogging at a bar
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
