He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
