Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
