It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
