So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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