I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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