Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
