it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
