Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
