went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Randomize
