And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
