Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
