i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
