3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
