I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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