So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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