so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
soo... how was my night?
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