I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
