She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
