hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
