I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
