I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
