which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
