You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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