You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
