Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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