oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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