just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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