he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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