He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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