Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Randomize
