don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
