white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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