FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
