Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize